Content Dynasty - Latest Comments

Re: Coping with Betrayal

Veronica — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:02:39 -0000

Thank you very much for this article...now it make me understand why betraying happened. The first thing to remember, is that if an individual starts lying, playing games and hidding the true or not telling you where or what he/she is doing, you know betrayal will happen. My boyfriend took some money from my account, always telling me he will give me some money, put me in debt then ran away with my 17 years old daughter who he has sexual relationship with and opened a bank account under her name. Now I am left alone with all the debts, has to put a restraining order for the man who still harrass me and my only family was my daughter who beleived I was the bad person as my boyfriend told her I was the one taking the money. Harsh

Re: Coping with Betrayal

Christine — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 04:21:43 -0000

Hi
You sound like me, I have always been too trusting as i too believe in the good of all people and try to reflect that in my relationships with them, however its the people closest to me that have often betrayed me and done the most damage. To be honest it appears to be a re-occurring pattern during my life that I cannot work out so now I spend a lot of time alone, I have fought to remain non bitter as i personally do not want to be involved in those sort of qualities or vengeance. I can forgive but never forget, its happened so many times now that I cannot trust getting too close to anyone and feel I have to live at a polight superficial level with others. I don't know what the answer is all I do know is that I now have to protect myself as much as I can because it does tear my heart out when it happens.
I hope you manage to find a way through.

Re: Sex Dos and Don’ts

Alex — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:22:59 -0000

I learned something scientifically interesting and liberating at the same time. They (the proverbial 'they' being I have no idea who) did a study about why men fall asleep after sex. The answer - men reproduce sperm 30% faster asleep than awake. The study's conclusion that since the male body was created in order to reproduce, that there are biological reasons the body wants to sleep after orgasm. So it can create more sperm, faster, and do it again. It's the ultimate cop out for falling asleep after sex, but I believe it makes some physiological sense.

Re: The Pattern Book That is Man

dennismorgenhouck — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 09:12:03 -0000

I'm Sorry but I am a man and right here and now I feel the need to ask of you politely, Check yourself before you wreck yourself. #1 My Dick is at its best showing if I am lucky almost 6" and nothing you can say will make me feel good about that particular point, Have you seen the size of those guy's in porn? #2 anywhere I go I rule the roost and as a rule any Yahoo that happens to feel that he can take the lead away is 1 A fool 2 To damned drunk for his own safety or 3 Not long for this world. I set the pace and mood others instinctivly fall in line. #3 A sure thing more often than not 9 times out of 10 means Predator, Seriously Defective Mentally, DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and or Botched sexual reassignment/hackjob who is without a doubt intentionally jacked up on fertility drugs. #4 Rarely if ever do I even make eye contact let alone make an effort to speak to any woman until I have been properly introduced and still then she must initiate the action of even exchanging civil pleasantries no matter how attractive I find her to be. #5 If you personally were to show no interest in me at all, It is highly unlikely that you would ever have known I was ever there. But if you were to "Dangle that Carrot in front of my Face" of course I would ask you to dinner and a movie and maybe in 6 or 7 weeks I would hope that you would feel I was worthy enough of your affection that you might consider Fucking me on a hopefully permanent basis and if so I would need no affirmation from you other than the way your face would light up when ever you and I were to see each other again after being apart for any period of time. I guess what I'm saying is don't even think about starting to think that you know how I am wired because when all is said and done that extra 12' of rope that I afford you is not very likely to be a sign of trust NO I just want to watch a good hanging now and then!

Re: Coping with Betrayal

Kaycee — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:32:16 -0000

Betrayals often come from persons you trust.At least there must have been some sort of neo platonic relationship.That's why it's often difficult to cope with when it unfolds.I'll only advise that one be wary of friends who cry for(almost beg for) trust in relationships.Trust should be earned as just as it it should by-product of tests...kaycee

Re: Reality and a Nightmarish Kissing Blunder

JennsMouse — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:27:31 -0000

You did. Apology accepted, but that wasn't how you communicated your intentions at the time at all.

Flirting for the fun of it is fine when your not sending mixed signals galore. The "I'm not going to have sex with you." line is a sure sign that you've not established a communication repertoire sufficient to carry an understanding between you and the other party deep enough to ensure that misunderstandings are not going to be a regular thing when you're making enough sexual advances to warrant such a warning. Such things are generally understood by most people as "something which you don't do because people get hurt that way", but I understand you see things differently. Perhaps you should just go, "Here, why don't you read my blog and see if you still want to be doing this with me." because 99% of the guys you do end up doing this with are going to end up caught in the same mousetrap if you don't.

Re: Reality and a Nightmarish Kissing Blunder

Jennifer Van Grove — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:32:24 -0000

Did I behave this way towards you? Please accept my apology if that's the case.

I won't lie, I'm definitely fond of flirting just for the fun of it - ie. with no intentions of taking it further. I think most women enjoy a little attention when they go out, though I don't think this really relates to the post at hand.

In my defense this isn't a regular habit as you make it sound, as I'm not a huge bar hopper and make it a point not to look for love "by throwing" myself "into the physicality of it."

Re: Reality and a Nightmarish Kissing Blunder

JennsMouse — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:19:14 -0000

I happen to know for a fact that this would hardly be the first time you've gotten drunk, found some guy you thought was fun, started flirting outrageously with him, sobered up, and changed your mind in time to create an awkward scene worthy of being straight out of Swingers.

Perhaps you should stop looking for love by throwing yourself into the physicality of it and focus more on the interpersonal relationship. You know, the conversation you have with your mouths several feet apart? Maybe once you've mastered those skills you can move on to the whole throwing yourself bodily at him, but as it stands this has become quite a regular pattern for you. I assure you the guys caught in your mousetrap of awkwardness would appreciate it too.

Re: One Bottle of Wine and the Reflections That Come of It

Jennifer Van Grove — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:43:09 -0000

Thanks for the kind words and feedback Natalie. It's nice to know that wanting and finding something that works for me is doable. Plus, as soon as I get a pet-friendly place, a puppy is definitely on the agenda. :)

Re: One Bottle of Wine and the Reflections That Come of It

natalie — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:38:02 -0000

"I just want something that works... but society..."

The minute I knew my husband was going to be my husband was that it worked like none other. Don't settle for anything else. You're a fabulous writer, exceptional in so many other things -- you can wait for a someone to come along and really complement it.

Don't listen to stupid society. Kids aren't for everyone. Puppies on the other hand... :)

Re: One Bottle of Wine and the Reflections That Come of It

Jennifer Van Grove — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 12:32:40 -0000

That's definitely saying plenty. :)

Re: One Bottle of Wine and the Reflections That Come of It

Courtenay — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 04:20:23 -0000

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that which is so personal :)

I must say... I understand your situation more than I'd like to share via the internet. Let's just say, I'm another independent young lady with a complicated dating/relationship past and present who is also home alone on a Saturday night. With a bottle of wine ;)

Re: Walk of Shame Boulevard

Stomper — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:28:20 -0000

I find it hard to believe that the walk of shame even exists, because It doesn't exist in my reality. My belief system is very open-minded and non-judemental of other people, so if I were to happen to see a woman walking down the street at 7am in a party dress and stiletto's, I honestly wouldn't think anything of it.

How could what strangers may or may not be thinking about the circumstances that caused you to be looking that way walking down the street at 7am bother you? Just by mentally framing that situation in a negative tone, you force yourself to try to come up with solutions for it.

How about not framing it in a negative mental tone at all? Think about it, you got laid the night before. How many of the people that will see you walking down the street the next morning do you think got laid the night before? Probably 25% of them at the most. If anything, of the people that make any mental judgement about what you're wearing while doing the "walk of shame" that morning, 75% of them will envy you for getting laid the night before, because they didn't.

I really can't see any justification for the "walk of shame" to have such a title that portrays it in a negative light. In my opinion, it needs to be renamed to the "walk of happiness", because good sex the night before can make you feel good about yourself the following day.

Take this for what it's worth, and try to use this perspective next time you find yourself in such a situation.

Re: The Pattern Book That is Man

Jennifer Van Grove — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:08:03 -0000

Jason, thanks for the long and detailed comment, though essentially you're agreeing with all my observations and just adding caveats.

re:1 - It's not conditional to guys that are single or out partying, trust me. You did hit the nail on the head with the unintentional part, though, it's biological and sometimes reactionary, but that doesn't make it any less true.

re:4 - The tribal paradigm is unique to men. In social settings, women tend to compete for attention so they're less likely to follow the lead of someone else.

Re: The Pattern Book That is Man

Jason — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 05:46:46 -0000

I think in general you are on to some solid concepts, but I believe that, at least from this male's perspective, could be slightly flawed. That can merely be a product of a non-stereotypical male, or perhaps that all men cannot be clumped into one pile of generalities. Regardless, here are some thoughts...

1) Perhaps it's the guys you encounter who are single and out on the town, but I don't think all guys disregard consequences, at least not intentional. At least for me, I usually begin with completely altruistic intentions, but then the resonance between the two creates the environment for less admirable thoughts. It's as if we are constantly fighting that devil on our shoulder, and he doesn't go away. But if you have an inkling of willingness, then we will happily listen, depending on our depth of moral character.

2) I think men want to be affirmed, there's no doubt about that. But "ego" has such a nasty connotation to it. I think we have insecurities that are masked, and when a woman takes away those insecurities, we feel comfortable to be ourselves. And really, that's what you are looking for anyway right ladies? Something real, sensitive and true?

3) Yes, I probably have a flirting problem. The thing is, at least with me, that it is not tightly bound to sex as you make it out to be. I love to see a woman happy, or smiling, especially if that woman is working and I'm not. Why? Not because of some odd fantasy of bedding a maid, but because I want them to feel cherished and loved. Too often women in those lines of work are not, and I think that's a tragedy. I enjoy getting a laugh or smile or even a look because it reveals the woman's true beauty and character.

4) I agree more with the tribe paradigm. We will all normalize to one mass of stupidity. In a work environment we will all try to emulate the most mature in the group. In a play environment we will emulate the most immature. So yes, we all want to "fit in" and will adapt to do that. Is that solely a male trait?

5) Yes, men love the chase, the thrill of the hunt. For me, the harder the nut to crack, the more alluring. But you need to be careful too. If you don't open up, the man will hunt the easier prey that still is a challenge. If he were hunting (and I don't hunt but I'm using the analogy), and saw a 10 point buck, he would chase for awhile. But if the buck looked difficult and he spots an easier 8 point buck... he would go for that instead.

Re: Reality and a Nightmarish Kissing Blunder

Jennifer Van Grove — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 13:13:31 -0000

Lisa, I really appreciate your comment. It's a struggle to know what's best, but I definitely think that I might try password protecting some posts as an experiment. Of course I'll give you the password if I do! :)

Re: Reality and a Nightmarish Kissing Blunder

Lisa Brewster — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 03:20:24 -0000

You should never completely stifle yourself to save ruffling someone else's feathers. If writing openly about your relationships stresses you so much, perhaps you could start password protecting your posts, or (and I almost loathe to suggest it) start a private livejournal where it's easier to control who has access. I definitely don't want you to stop writing!

And if you haven't seen it, this post on the extremely public breakup of Chris Messina and Tara Hunt might really open your eyes on what it means to be open: http://www.sanfranmag.com/s...

Re: The I Kissed a Girl Trend

DRS — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 07:03:28 -0000

While I will admit it is "hot", I don't want to see it. I know it's wrong and so do the people doing it~ that's part of the thrill of doing it.

You asked a very pertinent question:
"Once the trend becomes commonplace, will the cool kids find something more rebellious to do?", then dismissed it saying there's no way to tell. I think we all know what will happen~ in fact, you answered your own question in the same sentence.

Just what "boundary" is too far?

Heck~ is there a "boundary" anymore?

DRS

Re: First Date Red Flags

Michelle — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:44:10 -0000

If he tells you this awesome date he has planned and gets you all excited and expectant for it, then once date time arrives, he is too tired, running too late, whatever, and just wants to order in and watch a movie.

Dude had no intention of spending any money on you, and is trying to get you to serve him. Don't fall for it!

Re: The I Kissed a Girl Trend

smoss — Fri, 30 May 2008 22:58:38 -0000

I have to agree, I love this song as well. As a bisexual, however, I have to listen to the words and see if it really is a good message or not. I believe that girls kissing girls is becoming a trend, indeed, but I think in doing so it is making the idea of bisexuality that much less valid. The song perpetuates the idea that bisexuality is only a result of alcohol, an experiment, or like you said, a mere ploy to entice males. I think it is great that the topic is getting media attention, but like the great (not) Tila Tequila, it isn't the best for those who actually identify as bisexual.

The fact that people say they are interested in girls but have to adamantly state that they know they are straight just goes to show the negative connotations that still surround bi-curiosity/bisexuals, etc.

But the song is just so damn catchy.....lol

Re: Coping with Betrayal

Nico — Fri, 30 May 2008 18:15:20 -0000

Hi Jenn,

Having just experienced a major betrayal in my job (a colleague and friend bore false witness), your writing did mean something to me. It happened 12 hours ago, and I am still absolutely shocked by it.

Why does someone choose to betray: ...an individual stands to gain from the betrayal...

Nico

Re: Sounding Off

Joshua James — Thu, 29 May 2008 20:09:05 -0000

What you said about Twitter, spot-on, yo!

Re: The I Kissed a Girl Trend

TattooRemoval — Mon, 26 May 2008 16:35:17 -0000

Great work reviewing such an exciting topic so analytically. Remember, though, a picture is worth a thousand words. Go for War and Peace duration next time you blog on this topic... please!

Re: The I Kissed a Girl Trend

cruxine — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:15:23 -0000

I'm bisexual so I don't consider it a trend

Re: The I Kissed a Girl Trend

nicmcc — Sun, 18 May 2008 16:33:03 -0000

You hit the nail on the head. Interesting to see this addressed & so well.

...but I plead the 5th.